My computer has been EXCRUCIATINGLY slow recently, so I have been really frustrated in my blogging and other internet endeavors. Finally I decided that I will forgo the pictures and links and just write. Boo.
Just when I began to think I hadn't had a good (by good I mean entertaining after the fact, but exceedingly awful or annoying at the time) work story in awhile and those who love that type of thing would have to wait until the upcoming warehouse sale (I will be in LA for it Aug 13-18)where tons of bizarre things are bound to happen, I was proven wrong :/ My general level of agitation at work is pretty high right now do to school, stupid futile house buying attempts, lame co-workers, the on-going clearance sale at work, et cetera... and I think some figures and descriptions will greatly help get my point across:
Sale signs (in the woman's department alone): 26
Wording on the signs: TAKE AN ADDITIONAL 40% OFF YELLOW HIGHLIGHTED SALE MERCHANDISE, ALL SALES FINAL
times someone asked me if an item was on sale (all in a 4 hour sample period): 9
times someone asked me how much an item would be (do your own math, I am busy putting away the 950 million things you and your friend tried on 'for fun' and left inside out on the fitting room floor): 3
times someone asked me if the 40% was off the marked price: 6
But, the real treat was a customer from the other day. She was certainly special, and we had 6 hours with her to discover just how special. I noticed one of the worker bees following her around the store caring an armful of clothes and heard her say "now, is this flattering? How about this? Is this flattering?". The poor worker bee was trapped and too polite to extract herself even though it was her lunch time, so I had to intervene and start a room for the woman and find "all the flattering things we have". Right.
Now, I work in an outlet, outlets are not staffed for one-on-one client interactions (clearly part of what she needed, medication or counseling might also be helpful), we do not have secret stashes of drinks and treats for top customers (Neiman's does FYI, so, too does any Barneys flagship), we do not have luxurious dressing rooms with little divans and seamstresses that pop out at the ring of a phone. I would just like to provide a little tidbit of some of the comments from the SIX EFFING HOURS (5 for me, minus lunch, and about 3.5 for the little bee)this woman was in the fitting room:
1. Oh, I didn't even notice this was all sale merchandise. Bring me ANYTHING flattering, I can afford to buy the whole store if I want, so I really don't care if it is on sale or not (really? then why did you make a b-line for the sale section when you walked in, the sale section that is identified by 26 signs?)
2.This dress has a tear in it (it was a size 4, she was 8-10) Is that what the outlet is all about? is all your merchandise damaged? (no, only the things that people insist they will fit in, even though they are 4 to 6 sizes larger than the item)I've never done the outlet thing before (lie, she's been in our store before)
3. Why did that other nice girl have to leave? (1st we do in fact deserve to eat, 2nd we do also have homes to go to)
4. I'm really an outfit girl, don't you have a matching .... (fill in the blank for top, jacket, skirt, pant)
5. Ok, so now you are getting the idea of what I like, what my style is and the colors I like so next time you can just pull things for me before I come in.
6. Maybe I should have gone to Neiman's. They are so helpful there and pull so much stuff for me (this was around hour 4.5, so I was a little more upfront, than I may have been around hour 2 or 3, when I said we had been helping her for several hours and pulled quite a lot of merchandise for her).
7. (She mentioned that she had houses in Malibu and La Jolla and was flying to New York and then Italy no less than a combined total of (AH, damn I lost my tally sheet!!) about 27 times, sometimes with multiple mentions in the same sentence 'I'm flying to NY, but won't be going to Malibu before then so I only have the things here at the La Jolla house. Do you think this would be to hot for Italy?')
8. Thank you for your help you and the other girl have really been so helpful to me!
9. What do you think of this? Do you think I should get a smaller size? Do you think it is flattering? I really wish you (or the other girl) had both seen that on me.
10. Is this your manager because I really want to say how helpful and patient you've been with me today (no, I am the manager on duty, just because she is older than me and standing around doing nothing does not make her a manager)
11. Ok, well I'm going to come back tomorrow to look at some of those things again since you didn't see them all on me, will you be here to help me? (no, it is my day off and I am going to have a hair cut and breakfast with my friend, in Orange County) But who will help me then? Can you come in to help me? (really?!?!)Will you write your name on a card so I can call you and ask you to pull things for me next time
Lest you think I was just being snarky and ornery, she called the next day and complained that I was not helpful to her at all, that I sold her a skirt that was too short and that everything had holes so she waned to return it all (there was one dress with a zipper that was pulled out a little bit and she said she was going to get it repaired, she tried on everything she bought AT LEAST once and I looked it over for damages, and I advised her that it was all final sale (because the few things she did indeed buy were clearance items, to which she replied "Oh, honey, I would never return. I donate things, I don't return them!") So, on top of being incredibly needy and IN THE STORE FOR SIX HOURS, she was a big fat LIAR. Not appreciated at all.
On another note, last week was opening day at the Del Mar races so I finally got to wear my little hat in public. I have been wearing it around the apartment at random times for the past few months. I finally decided to wear my linen playsuit(British for romper) from Target and my Fairly Robin sandals. I did have quite a lot of hat envy, because as cool as mine was, it provided no sun protection at all and there were so many great ones that also created a little shade and coolness for the wearer. And then, there were some crazy ass contraptions that looked like the wearers had simply cleaned out the clearance bins at Micheal's and glued it all on their head. Wish I had more pictures of those. I would also like to point out (although, I like to believe anyone reading this comprehends basic dressing etiquette)that opening day is a time honored tradition (where we secretly get to pretend we are part of a royal family for a few hours (although less prone to eating disorders and large ears))and should never involve these things:
1.dresses that could also be tube tops for babies
2. furry hats that come in packages for Halloween costumes
3. hats that are too large to manage without a)running them into people b)poles and support beams (yes, really)
4. baseball, Kangol or rumply beach hats
5. breasts so large and fake they are like a shelf, or weapon in crowded places
6. suits for men that are not linen or seersucker (it is always in the 80's or 90's and as attractive as suits make most men,being sweaty and beet red really detracts from this)
It wasn't as fun as last year for some reason, but I did win in the first 2 races I bet on!! And then proceeded to blow my winnings (about $12 I think) on a melty drumstick (it was effing hot)and 2 unsuccessful races. At least my none of my horses scratched at the last minute like last year, when one threw its' jockey before arriving at the starting gate and proceeded to scamper around the track for awhile delaying the race (jockey and horse unhurt in this situation). Also, I didn't get any pictures with the worker bees that were also at the track in their cute opening day outfits:(
I got my hair cut on Tuesday, but don't know if I quite like it yet because I haven't figured out how to 'do' it to my liking. I got the bangs I had a few years ago which prompted one of the pet trainers at Petco to ask "are you that girl, from that movie, you know the mean, sarcastic one?" to which I gave her a dumb look and said "no." (what girl from what movie?!?) "Are you sure?" Really? to which Shandiz replied "Totally! She gets that a lot!", which only fueled her suspicions that I was in fact 'that girl from that movie' because she gave me weird looks for the rest of the pet training (for Sheila's ex-dog). So, apparently with this haircut I could look like Selma Blair (the mean, sarcastic girl from the movie (Legally Blond or Cruel Intentions)Jennifer Garner or the other girl from Electra, but it's shorter now, so I thinking more like Selma Blair. When I post the pictures when my computer is back up to speed (maybe my next post will be all pictures), this will make no sense because you will see there is actually no similarity at all.
I am off to finish reading the Constitution for my final business law posting, except for the fact that it sounds like someone started re-roofing a house next door. Fantastic. Excellent sound track for studying.
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