Really, does this have to happen when I am in charge?

So, this is how my day at work went yesterday, mind you I was only there for five hours.

I left for work 1 hour early (I live 3 miles/8-10 minutes away) because parking on the weekend is so awful, and 2 on Sunday is the worst time to find parking. People drive around the lot like maniacs, and I'm always surprised that someone doesn't die everyweekend between the crazy driving and parking lot rage.

I saw that there were two or three children playing in one of the mens displays with an adult 'supervising' them. There were several mannequins, a large hanging vinyl sign and other items in the display window. I was on my way over to ask the adult to not let the children play in that area when one of the children pulled the hanging sign down and the bar that holds the sign in place swung down and struck the 'supervising adult' on the head. Although some may feel this person got their just desserts, I being the manager on duty (current least favorite term in the world) had to deal with this in a delicate manner. The proper attitude to convey in a situation like this is some where along the lines of "I am so sorry you were hurt, we are not going to be held responsible because you were letting those kids go places and do things they should not have been, is there anything I can do for you that will decrease the likelihood of you filing a bogus lawsuit against us? Please leave and don't come back unless you are actually going to shop and not use our store for a playground, by the way I have 3 employee and one customer witnesses to how exactly that sign "fell" on you." I arrived at work at 2 and this happened at 2:10.

As I was recording said 'supervising adult's information, one of the employees came over and said they needed my help for a return because the customer did not have a reciept or the price tag. Sigh. Luckily, that customer had witnessed the above event and was a wonderful person. I explained to her that in order for her to return the bag, I needed to find some type of documentation of a style number and price. She pleasantly accepted this and gave me her name and number so I could focus on the ramifications of the more major customer injury problem first and then research her bag. So, I went to the office to write up my report of the incident and emailed it to the concerned parties (the company attorney, the head of loss prevention and the divisional VP) and then successfully researched the bag.

About ten minutes after issuing a store credit to the very pleased and appreciative customer, I see a man that looks familiar to me so I approached him to greet him. As I reached him and "hello" was leaving my mouth, I realized he is something very important from the corporate office, just couldn't think what for the life of me or quite remember his name.(Cool, good day for an unannounced corporate visit.) I recognized him from my internship in NY. He just said hello back and continued to circumnavigate the store with his hideously disproportioned wife (v. thin with hugely 'enhanced' lips and chest areas). It of course was him, because he is a very distinctive looking person. I discretely tried to run around and tell all of the employees to be on best behavior. I am a little put out that he didn't introduce himself to anyone, especially since it is store policy to introduce yourself to the manager on duty when you enter any other location, but that must only apply to peons. Once he left, of course his name came to me and I ran back to the office to look him up in the store directory. Just the EVP of operations for our company, one of the five people who are running it right now.

After he left, I decided I needed a snack, but being the manager on duty, I couldn't leave the store so I sent one of the employees to mail a letter that had been laying around for a few days and get at candy bar for me. It took her a really long time. When she got back the Snickers she brought had a Super Bowl wrapper on it. I thought 'this can't be a good sign'. It wasn't. I don't know if you have ever had an old Snickers bar, but the nougat must melt or disintegrate or something and then that makes the peanuts squishy. It is gross. If this ever happens to you, just throw it away before you eat any.

On another note, I went to visit our potential-future-house again today and discovered the thing I like least about it. I think the previous owners must have been running a lizard ranch. I have never seen so many lizards in one place before (ok, except for Reptile Gardens in South Dakota, but maybe not even there). I guess they could have been the same 5 lizards following me around the whole yard, but I am skeptical of this theory. Also, I even saw some mating and thought 'you have some nerve having sex in my potential-future-backyard!' Our real estate agent tried to decrease my adversity to them by saying "well you had snakes where you grew up and snakes are much more creepy". This is emphatically not so for the following reasons:

1. Snakes can not jump (although Shandiz says snakes can jump the length of their bodies, this is not jumping so much as springing)
2. Snakes do not climb walls
3. Snakes do not move as quickly as lizards
4. Snakes do not have creepy little clawed feet
5. Snakes do not look at you like they are thinking of running up your leg
6. I have never seen snakes having sex

The good news is our offer was accepted so we are a little closer to having a future home. So, I am thinking about ways to relocate the lizards (and by relocate I mean sell them to pet stores to generate cash flow for home improvements and landscaping).